In the first picture, i found what wires connect to the pole, the other connector connects to the lights. I have that harness also, it has the fogs and other things attached to it.
(Picture 2) Down by the relay, i have two red wires in a clip, one with red and black, and one solid red that i cannot find where they should connect to. I believe this is what powers up the pole.
(Picture 3) I connected two white wires to the fuse box. I found a place that it went into perfectly. Then near those two white wires, there are some yellow ones that i have no clue where they would go. Look at the pictures for clarification.
On the last picture, it shows the kind of bumper pole button i have, it is not the regular slide one, it is different.
And yes it is grounded metal to metal.
PLEASE HELP!